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When you are your own worst enemy in relationships

Stop being your own worst enemy in relationships

The romantic dance between men and women is complicated enough without sabotaging your own relationship. Sadly, too many women have a knack for ruining one relationship after another by unknowingly engaging in self-destructive behaviour. Later, these same women wonder how their seemingly wonderful relationships always seem to suddenly collapse.

Here are five common ways women sabotage their own relationships and how you can tell if you’re engaging in these behaviours, as well as tips on how to stop being your own worst enemy.

Why isn’t he a mind reader?

Okay, ladies, believe it or not, no man today can read your minds and, face it, it’s probably best that he can’t. Unfortunately, too many women will give their guys the silent treatment or a bad attitude just because he failed to live up to her unsaid expectations. “He just should have known,” is the usual whine.

Don’t blame your man if he can’t read your mind. Instead, next time, let him know what you are thinking or expecting, instead of hoping that he can guess your desires correctly.

Holding on too tight

Everyone needs a little freedom in their lives. If you are constantly checking on your man because of your own insecurities, you are going to make him feel as if he has a rope around his neck. Now visualize this: the more you tighten your grip around his neck, the more likely he is going to be to fight for his breath or his freedom. Loosen up, gals, or you could end up losing what you’ve got.

Giving up who you are

Your man fell in love with you, not a carbon copy of himself. Don’t give up your hobbies and friends and revolve your world around his. Even though, he may appreciate it at first, eventually, he may feel suffocated and also wonder what happened to the women that he first fell in love with.

You can’t fix another person

Many women, as well as men, are rescuers. They love to sweep into a situation and make everything better. Some women are drawn to men who seem broken because they believe they can fix them.

Most of the time, these men don’t want to be fixed because they usually doesn’t even know that they are broken. They may truly like the way they are or are too stubborn to change, and there is nothing harder to change than another person. It is best to go into a relationship like this with the understanding that the broken person you are with is probably the one you will end up with in the long run.

Don’t expect the worst from your man

If you are always expecting your man to cheat and always checking up on him or accusing him of having affairs, eventually both of you will become so unhappy that he probably will cheat on you. When you expect the worst, which is often what you end up with.

Don’t let your old bad habits ruin your future relationships. If you recognize that you consistently self-sabotage yourself, work hard to eliminate those behaviours. Your heart will thank you.

Will Sartain

Will Sartain writes for




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