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Fantasies…sex aid or unfaithful?

fantasies real women relationship adviceIf you have fantasies about other men, does it mean that you don’t love your partner?

Whether it’s a fleeting thought about a sexy bloke at the bus stop or a detailed scenario featuring the guy sat next to you in the office, fantasies can play an important physical and psychological role in our sex lives.

You are allowed to fantasise about someone else and still be very much in love with your partner, enjoying a warm, loving, healthy relationship.  And anyone who says that they don’t fantasise about others is telling porky pies as apparently 90% of us do it!

Is there any particular reason for doing it?  Our fantasies stimulate arousal which makes them a great sex toy with a long term partner.  They also allow us to examine our relationship, as our unconscious mind has given us an opportunity to analyse any difficulties that might cause us to fall into the arms of another! After all, if you’ve had a steamy session over the photocopier with the guy at the next desk in your head, then you don’t really need to do it for real and be unfaithful!

But when your fantasies become the only way that you get turned on with your partner, then it is time to take stock of your relationship. Experts say that the roots of your desires are very much linked to the stability and amount of love between a couple and so if the person you are dreaming about is easily accessable and not Jason Statham or Denzel Washington (Real Women Today office favourites), you need to be concerned.

In dealing with post fantasy guilt you need to realise that you are not the only one doing it, talk about it with your partner and acknowledge the fact that bedrooms are more crowded places than we’d like to believe.

What and who do you fantasise about? Or do you think that fantasies make you unfaithful?

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